Tiaras and Rednecks.

My sister receives multiple automated phone calls from a local orthodontist reminding her that her four kids are due for an appointment on a specific day and time.  My sister has no kids, just animals.  Here, we meet Hershey.

Sister: Guess who called?

Me: Who?

Sister: Dr. Kim

Me: Great! Dr. Kim can I bring my kids in? I only have 2.

Sister: Well yes of course. Please come by now if you can, some delinquent mother of four is yet to bring her kids in…in spite of multiple auto reminders.

Me: Excellent. Doesn’t that delinquent mom know the value of her kids’ dental work? How else will they blaze through toddlers and tiaras? GASP!

Sister: Well stated. What are their names?

Me: Hunter and Hailee

Sister: Oh of course…. keeping with the H theme. Very trendy. They will fit in splendidly.

Me: Hailee won’t take off her tiara. Can you work around that?

Sister: L

Sister: O$i$

Me: are you saying lol? or….?

Sister: Sorry that was Hershey. He says hi.

Me: Hi Jethro.

Sister: WTF?

Me: Sorry! I meant Hershey.

Sister: You need to eat more chocolate and less redneck if Hershey auto corrects to Jethro. What – do you hear banjos?

Me: Shit it.

Sister: Really mature.

Me: NO! Shut it! Not the other! And I don’t eat rednecks….

Sister: Uh-huh….. run faster, the banjos are louder.  Just cause you don’t eat them doesn’t mean they won’t eat you, white meat.

Me: Hailee darlin, take off the tiara! Mama needs a weapon!

Sister: bahahaha. Like you would have EVER farted with a crown for mom.

Me: I do not flatulate.

Sister: That was way better as fart not part.

Me: Tiaras. My weapon of choice.

Sister: They killed me more than once.

Me: What? Why?

Sister: Ass hats.

Me: ?

Sister: Whatever. I give up. Auto texts are not playing nice with me. And, Hershey wants a tiara.

Me: aka ass hat?

Sister: I love you.

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