I am the hostess with the mostess. I live to throw a good party, and I have such an occasion coming up! My sister, who
hates loves my party style, was annoyed delighted to hear me rattle on incessantly about my plans. This conversation went horribly, HORRIBLY, awry thanks to my auto correct and overzealous typing.
Note: this is a Sex and the City theme party
Me: We are having Flirtinis and Cosmo Cupcakes! I even have sugar pearls to sink in champagne glasses because it’s too cute and Charlotte-like. Also, I am making pineapple ice cubes with cherries in the middle so the Flirtinis aren’t watered down. How cute is that!? You think I should also freeze chunks of pineapple?
Sister: That sounds like you. Yes freeze the fruit. You’ll like that. Just be sure not to stab anyone if they use the wrong fork.
Me: No forks. However, if they don’t keep their vaginas up as they drink Flirtinis, I might have to slap them.
Sister: Damn that’s tough.
Me: Whatever, I always raise my vaginas. That’s what ladies do.
Sister: No sis, that’s what whores do. And since when do you have two?
Me: What? You are mean. :’-(
Sister: Read your damn text dork.
Me: Sweet baby moses…. I meant pinkies!
Sister: Uh-huh. I was close to coming to your party if vagina raising was involved. Now, I’m not coming. This is much less fun. Drink a Flirtini and raise your vaginas for me on Friday…..
Me: Bite me.