Months ago, my parent’s dog bit the hell out of my finger.  This left me with a scar.  I assume she wanted to mark me as her bitch, because now she follows me around everywhere and allows me to do pretty much anything I want.  I have affectionately dubbed her Sausage (as you might have gathered from previous posts) because she is a fat dog.  The upside of having a fat dog?  She can wear headbands for children!  Case in point: I went to the local dollar store and procured her a witch headband, complete with red braids.  I thought this was a nice statement between “I’m a bitch” and “I’m super cute.”

Before she realized what I had done.


And this was AFTER she realized what I had done.

The picture directly following this was me, losing a finger.  I did not photograph that for your own good.  To be fair, I deserved it.  I stuffed her into a toddler headband.  Those things annoy me, and I’m a princess.

She did look cute though for a millisecond, right?  It was totally worth losing the digit.  Who needs pinkies anyway? Ok fine.  SHUT UP SISTER (here’s why if you missed it.)


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