Months ago, my parent’s dog bit the hell out of my finger. This left me with a scar. I assume she wanted to mark me as her bitch, because now she follows me around everywhere and allows me to do pretty much anything I want. I have affectionately dubbed her Sausage (as you might have gathered from previous posts) because she is a fat dog. The upside of having a fat dog? She can wear headbands for children! Case in point: I went to the local dollar store and procured her a witch headband, complete with red braids. I thought this was a nice statement between “I’m a bitch” and “I’m super cute.”
Before she realized what I had done.
And this was AFTER she realized what I had done.
The picture directly following this was me, losing a finger. I did not photograph that for your own good. To be fair, I deserved it. I stuffed her into a toddler headband. Those things annoy me, and I’m a princess.
She did look cute though for a millisecond, right? It was totally worth losing the digit. Who needs pinkies anyway? Ok fine. SHUT UP SISTER (here’s why if you missed it.)