My dear reader knows that my phone hates me. It retaliates with a vengeance at the most inopportune times.
I have decided to name my phone. Something that is female (she is bitchy and has a proclivity to talk about vaginas – go ahead and click on that link – it was a good story); something that is kind of bad ass (she knows no shame and speaks her mind). I have landed upon Svetlana.
I’ve already established that I am not working any more today. My co-worker feels the same. The first sign was that she used the sentence “And by WTF, I really mean, that’s what you probably want to say.” This got my attention, so I texted her….and then Svetlana happened.
Me: Dude. Did you just use the phrase WTF in conversation with a college kid?
Coworker: Yes. Yes I did because honestly, this sucks balls.
Me: Yeah, I’m kinda over this whole portal mess.
Coworker: No shit.
Me: That is one reason I’m procreating as much as possible today.
Me: You should try it.
Coworker: Nah. I’d rather just sit here and play on facebook.
Me: I’m doing that too.
Coworker: Poor guy, does he know you aren’t paying attention?
Me: Sweet baby moses. I’m sorry. I meant procrastinate. I don’t procreate at work.
Coworker: I was afraid to look into your desk area to verify, but I was pretty sure that was what you meant. 😉
Me: #$%!^WTF Svetlana. I hate you.
Coworker: Who is Svetlana. I hate her too.
Me: My phone.
Coworker: Svetlana sounds like someone that likes to procreate at work.
Me: I’m putting her in my purse, so that won’t happen.
Coworker: Sveltana sounds like someone that would like to be put in the dark.
Me: Damn it. Svetlana will go on my desk and sit under the post it notes until she finishes her time out.
Coworker: Word. Get that bitch.