Warning. If you have never read my blog, please go back to a better post. Really. This post turned into a rambling, nonsensical jaunt through my overcrowded brain. If you do happen to read this, don’t judge too harshly. At the moment, this seems to be really funny. It’s probably not, but maybe it is. I have giggled at everything today, including the word applicable. Why you ask? Ok fine, read on…or don’t. I promise not to be offended.
We all know I don’t sleep. I’ve come to terms with that. It works to my favor many times….I mean, who else can quote infomercials like me? “This tuna looks boring. Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.” “Fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini”.
The last two weeks have been worse with my sleeping and the like. I’ve been in different cities, met a lot of new people and made some great memories. (Cue the Breakfast Club music.)
Veni vidi vici y’all.
The answer to why I’ve been all Julius Caesar up in here is less fun than the stories that have come out of the last two weeks. So, let’s just call it a rough spot and move on.
Four nights ago, I pondered how long I could actually go without a real adult’s version of sleep, and still function as a working, contributing member of society. I was betting a month. Turns out? About two weeks. Last night I hit the proverbial fence around 4am. This blogger went down. I was in that sound sleep I reserve for Thanksgiving dinner’s tryptophan high, a glass of Cupcake Pinot Grigio and my heavenly 1200 thread count sheets.
I woke abruptly to my “get your ass up because you seriously overslept backup alarm” at 8am. I have done this twice in my life. Seriously. And, although just short of four hours is more sleep than I’ve gotten sum total in the last bit, I’m relatively sure that I’m in some sort of trance. I can’t feel my face and I’m doing a slow blink thing that kinda scares me. Is this what most college kids feel like after an all-nighter study session? Damn. No wonder I irritated everyone with my ability to cram, not sleep and feel spectacular the next day.
I’m neck-deep in coffee, and I even ate a real breakfast – ok PART of a real breakfast. However, I can’t stop my eyes from closing. If I am indeed in a trance, and I wake up on a stage singing like a bird for some hypnotist show (yes, I’ve done that), I’ll be really mad.
To top it all off, I have a VIP at the office today who needs my attention. So I’m left to my one fail safe in my business world: fake it. I’ve had pageant training. I’m kind of good at that. I’ll harness my inner diva and smile brightly….and if we all get lucky, I might even mean it by the end of today.
Wish me luck readers. I came, I saw….I’m conquered.