This morning I posted about how gangster squirrels were bothering me. After this post, things in the animal kingdom got worse.
CLICK CLACK SCRATCH
Me: What the… what is that?
Squirrel climbing UP MY WINDOW.
Bird flies seriously close to window and sits on sill.
Coworker: What the hell is the matter with you!?
Me: It’s all wild kingdom up in here and I don’t like it.
Coworker comes over to investigate.
At this point there are eight squirrels in the yard, six birds and a couple of things I didn’t recognize….possibly moles?
Coworker goes to window: Wow. You’re like Snow White or something.
Me: Um….why would you say that.
Coworker: All the animals want to be close to you!
Me: They look like they want to kill me. I’m pretty sure that one has a shiv. And I don’t want to be Snow White. I am afraid of the little people and I really hate birds landing near or on me.
Coworker: Really? Cause it looks like the animals just enjoy your company so much they can’t leave.
Me: They have you fooled.
Coworker: Let me know if they produce shivs.
Me: It’ll be too late then.
Coworker: Well then it won’t matter.
Me: True that.
If my tires are slashed, my dear reader….it was the gangster animals that did it.