Well, that was embarrassing….

I pride myself on being a classy lady, particularly at work.

Today, I blew that out the window.

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when out of nowhere a spider drops STRAIGHT down my shirt.  Seriously! The damn thing had better aim than most men I know!

What do I wish I did? Stand up, flop out the bottom of my shirt, release the spider and sit back down.

What actually happened:

  1. I feel something drop down my shirt.  I look down and see a fuzzy ass spider.
  2. I leap up and scream at the top of my lungs, sending a coffee mug flying.  Thank God it was empty. Rest in peace mug, you were a fave.
  3. Notice the spider has crawled into my bra.
  4. Begin to pull the TOP of my shirt down to evict the spider from my chest, in the middle of the office.
  5. Realize I’m disrobing only after I hear the sole male coworker here today say, “Um. Can I help you with that?”
  6. Realize that this is probably the most the coworker has ever seen of a woman before. (Yes, he’s THAT guy.)
  7. Become horribly embarrassed.
  8. Realize the spider is still in my bra.
  9. Scream, I’m so sorry!
  10. Flee to the bathroom, get spider out of my bra and flush it.

The only positive spin I can take on this is that I made the coworker’s day.  Also, I didn’t get that far into the disrobing…in my hot evening dresses, I have shown more of my cleavage.

But, the more I think about it, the more I’m confident it was the gangster squirrels from last week trying to send me a message.  I guess I’m lucky.  The spider could have had a shiv. That would have been worse.  Maybe. Ah hell… No. That would have been way better than this.  I would really like to hide. In a hole. Well played squirrels…. you best watch your backs.

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2 Comments

  1. I think the spider down the shirt has to happen to everyone of us at least once!!! I was in college, hanging out between classes where everyone hangs out, when I felt something in my shirt. I pulled the top of my shirt out as far as it would go and looked down to see a spider!!! My sorority sisters are trying to get me to put my shirt back where it belonged and I am screaming “There is a spider in my shirt!” Oh, a memorable moment for many, many people! You have my sympathy, my laughs, and my deep respect for not throwing your shirt off right there in the office!!!

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