Knights, Princes and Tin Foil

Quite possibly one of the funniest conversations I’ve ever had.  It started out all serious, but my my how it ended.  Here is the background of the story and then the conversation that followed.  Enjoy!

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Being in a bit of a love rut, my friend and I were chatting about how much Disney and the whole knight in shining armor thing is forced upon us as kids. Since birth, Disney tells girls that somewhere out there, there is a Prince Charming for all of us.  That we should never give up hope and always remain brilliant and beautiful because the knight in shining armor will come forth and save us from life as we know it.  I totally fell for it. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Come on…. don’t judge me because you ladies out there KNOW that you played princess at least once in your life.

I told my personal favorite princess time story to my friend: using a pageant crown and stealing mom’s heels and jewelry.  I would teeter walk to my room, climb on my canopy bed and scream to the top of my lungs “I’m here! Come save me!”  In retrospect? Not cool.  But, to mom’s credit, she ran to me the first time…and the second and third.  After that I was on my own.  Which is kinda the whole point here.  No prince or knight ever arrived, even after I had my own heels and jewelry to use and was in far more dire straights than being stranded in the middle of a canopy bed. I postulated that there are really only like .001% of the population that actually get their knights or princes.

And here is the conversation that ensued:

Friend: Honestly darling, I think I have found a real knight this time.

Me: Are you sure….because he kinda seems like a moron in tin foil to me.

Friend: laughs so hard she falls off the couch

Me: See. You think that too or you wouldn’t be laughing like that. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not judging.  Many a moron in Reynolds Wrap has stormed into my castle.

Friend: Did you just make a sex joke?

Me: NO! Um… but that didn’t sound good did it.  I just meant that they have attempted to ok… there is NO reference that relates to castles, moats or gates that doesn’t sound totally and overtly sexual.

Friend: My sweet girl…. you could use someone to storm your castle, and I mean that the way it sounds.

Me: This wasn’t the conversation I envisioned.

Friend: Which is why its awesome.

Me: I want a shirt that has Reynolds Wrap with a big X through it that serves as a warning:  I’m on to your tin foil wearing ass.  Bring me the armor or go home.

Friend: I’m so getting you that for Christmas.  It will also have the disclaimer warning them that there are dragons in your moat.

Me: BITCH!

Friend: laughing so hard I can hardly hear her…I’m just saying!  That would discourage everyone that wasn’t a real knight. Real knights slay dragons.

Me: I like that better as a disclaimer.

Friend: Fine.  I guess I can work with that.  But I’m still using something about moats.

Me: shake my head…. Yeah. I am sure you will.

I have some really awesome friends blog land…..maybe the next Disney movie should be about that – girl power.  Because the friends you have define who you really are even more so than the man you end up with….be he in tin foil or armor.  Because when he screws up, and when you screw up, your friends are always there to slap you, pour you a drink or plot revenge….whatever is most appropriate. Cheers to my girlies…..

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