PIC and I do pretty much everything together. Unfortunately for her hubby, and whatever man decides he’s brave enough to veer into my crazy life, that means we also get sick together.
Beginning Friday, our assent into the depths of what honest to God is the worst head-cold-flu-oh-god-now-its-in-my-chest-please-kill-me-now I’ve ever had. We were supposed to have a wild weekend and spend Sunday night having an Oscar party. The plague had other plans for us. PIC and I did rally. In fact we managed to put on tiaras and throw out our best fashionista advice, albeit laced with cold meds, coughing and tissues.
On Monday, I came to work because I’m
loyal stupid. By Tuesday, I sounded like the crypt keeper on a really bad day. My sweetheart of a boss proceeded to reprimand me on the etiquette of sneezing and coughing. I just nodded.
Yes, that’s how sick I am. I have no fight left in me.
PIC’s day was even worse. She had to do CPR certification while not being able to breathe. Pray tell how you do that? PIC figured it out best she could. But then she had to do Heimlich maneuver training. She turned to the person and said, “If you squeeze me, I’ll wheeze.” This sent me into my own wheezing fit of laughter….and then spawned an idea.
PIC agreed with me, because she is truly my bestie and partner in all crimes.
So, I confess. I did it. I came in early and hacked, sneezed and any other gross germ spreader I could think of in their respective office areas.
I realize that means I am going to hell. I realize that my karma took a massive hit. But…. I also realize that this will at least provide me some satisfaction while PIC and I develop our plan to Gaslight the hell out of my boss.
Thank God this blog is anonymous. I feel like I just hit the confessional and I’m now absolved.
Cold Med Induced Advice of the Day: This year, specifically today, is a bonus day. Do something fun. Do something memorable. So far all I did was infect my boss and coworker with the plague. I should probably aim higher for the rest of the day…..
Happy Leap Day!