I just experienced the most awkward ten minutes of my life.
My boss is naive and stuck in the 1950s. She may be batshit crazy, with less fashion sense than the Eat Me woman, but the woman usually behaves like a lady. So when this happened, I wasn’t sure what to do.
The boss was leaning over my shoulder to work on a project and this happened.
Me: And then you have to….
Me: Um. thinking that surely that was a shoe squeak You have to click over here and…
Me: Then you just type in the… oh for the love of GOD this is NOT a shoe squeak! Retreat!!!
At this point my nostrils start to flare. The smell of rotten eggs has slapped me across my face. My eyes are beginning to tear. I don’t want to breathe, but I know I have to to finish my sentence. My eyes dart up to see that the boss is still standing there acting like she didn’t just shart herself. I would say fart, but this was far, far worse. Or at least that is what it smelled like.
Me: ok pull it together…. you can do this. Um. You type in the code here and then this pops up like so.
OhThankGod I got it all out in one breath. Please let her leave so I can exhale.
I look squarely up at her because, this time, I just can’t let it slide. My eyes and nose are now running and I’m stifling the “smell the fart” face.
Boss: I had chili for lunch.
Me: Oh. Well… um…. so actually… I need to go refill my coffee.
Boss: At 4:30?
Me: Yes, it is one of those days.