A much needed outing with PIC created some more epic adventures. Maybe it’s because we just laugh at everything. Maybe it’s because we share a brain. Regardless, the outing was hysterical.
Eye of the Beholder
PIC and I decided to eat at a local restaurant I truly adore. We were seated in the back by a table of three odd adults and a child around 8 years old. I look over and see the child has positioned the horses he was playing with in a, shall we say, mating stance. This would have struck me as innocent except the way he positioned them and was laughing. Kid totally knew what he did and was quite proud.
Me: PIC look!
PIC: I know it’s awful!
Me: My mom would have taken me out back and had my head if I did that at the table.
Me: The mating horses?
Me: Wait – what? What are YOU talking about?
PIC: Do you SEE the sweater he’s wearing?
*It’s like 90 degrees out and the odd adult man is wearing a wool sweater with llamas all over it.
Me: The hell did I miss that?
PIC: You were distracted by mating.
Me: Yes. I do that.
We erupt into laughter and scare our waitress who had just decided to sneak up with bread. I’m pretty sure she thought we were drunk….or off our meds….or in need OF meds…. she didn’t come back a whole lot after that.
Hippos and Other Animals
After a big dinner, PIC and I like to walk it off. There is a little community area nearby. This is where our Hippy Hippo incident occurred. PIC and I, for our own reasons, have a fondness for big, metal chickens. This broad spectrum applies to all big metal animals. This is one reason we love this area. BIG METAL ANIMALS. We are strolling along and I stop still.
PIC: What’s wrong?
Me: They are gone!
PIC and Me: Where are the hippos?!?!
We realize we screamed this in unison. In an upscale neighborhood. During normal hours when people are out and about. We don’t care. Someone had absconded with our beloved hippos. sniff sniff
PIC and I determined that after my hippy hippo mix up, they probably had to take them out because they didn’t want people brawling in their nicely manicured yards. As I said before, yelling “hippo” can lead to fights à la Kill Bill. No one wants that. Body parts strewn in front of a store that sells Prada? It isn’t right.
Bummed, we walked around some more and we came upon a NEW metal animal! It was a cross between a horse, a giraffe and an alpaca with mange. It was all metal, but I’m pretty sure it still had mange. The fur was too textured and patchy looking for any other logical explanation. I WILL snap a pic for the blog folks. Just give me time. The police were there on patrol and I was too focused on pondering WHY and HOW a metal animal could get mange….and if it was contagious.
When Axe Body Spray is Acceptable
PIC and I were still in said park walking around. We pass by the ice cream/fudge shop and I breathe in deep. This was a bad idea. No. I didn’t smell the sweet aroma of baking and fun. I smelled death. So much so that I doubled over and made a really terrible face and began a retching sound as we passed through a group of teenagers.
Me: OH DEAR GOD!!! What was that?
PIC: without missing a beat Feral children
We ran into the pack of feral teens twice more. Each time I tried to hold my breath unsuccessfully. By the end I was teary eyed from gagging…. and laughing.
PIC and I are doing karaoke and mexican tonight in the safety of a feral teen free zone. If you have a song request, let us know. 🙂