Devil Went Down to…Where Exactly?

As a kid, I was terrorized with stories about centaurs.  Half men/half beast things that would eat me if I wandered off into the woods alone, didn’t finish my homework, had premarital sex or didn’t finish my vegetables. Thankfully, I’m still alive…..which should be proof that they don’t exist…..however, I still have an irrational shiver to all things half man/half beast.

Enter my workplace.

At random, these freaking things pop up.  Check out what creeptastic creature was at the door today.

image

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Me: AH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coworker: What’s wrong?

Me: Who put that here?

Coworker: Someone dropped it off.  I thought it was cute there.

Me: NO.  There is nothing cute about a devil child….

Coworker: …with furry legs.

Me: I kind of hate you.  And now I feel oddly inspired to sing Devil Went Down To Georgia.

Coworker: You’re safe.  Devil doesn’t want your soul.  It’s too twisted.

Me: Ah! You BITCH!

Coworker: See.

*****

A few hours later I migrate into another room where I am met with another critter of man/beast proportions.

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He was lookin’ for a soul to steal…

Me: OH JESUS GOD!!!  WHAT THE…..

Coworker: Yep.  That came in the mail today.  I was going to put it on your desk, but I thought a sneak attack was better.

Me: I will NEVER bail you out at 4am again.

Coworker: Totally worth it.

Me: snarly look  I am relatively sure these things suck your soul.  If I come in as soulless succubus tomorrow, I’m going to be really pissed off.

Coworker: How exactly does that vary from your routine after work? I mean is it that abnormal for you to seduce men and then eat their….souls?  Remember that weekend when….

Me: OK!!  OK!!!  I’m an evil succubus!!!  SHUT IT!

For the first time in a long time, I had no words.  My face got beet red, I shot a look at coworker, turned the devil beast around so it can’t see my eyes, then continued on about my day.  For the record, I’m not a succubus.  I’ll let you know tomorrow how I feel.

 

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2 Comments

  1. Oh gees, this is hysterical, I’m dying of laughter over here!!
    But you’re seriously right, those things are creepy! And why the hell are they showing up randomly at your office? As if work was abysmal enough.
    Anyway, another awesome post, Lady!!

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