Forgive me bloggies for being MIA last week. My grandma passed. I intend to do a funny/cool tribute on her later, but here was the initial one I promised. 🙂
I’m pretty sure I’ve crossed into the Twilight Zone. Monday was the day I was supposed to come out, guns blazing, and resign. Instead, I’m feeling oddly off-put. You know – like when you psych yourself up for a big presentation in front of a very crowded room, and you walk in…and the room has like five people? Half relieved, half confused….and a little let down. Yeah. That’s about how I feel.
To recap, my soon to be ex boss? She’s batshit crazy. Check out a lovely story of her here.
Me: Today I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is I’ve been offered the job as Her Awesomeness (yes, I totally made that up and I didn’t say it, but it’s a super cool job and hell….can I have business cards that say that?) at….
Boss: You’re leaving me aren’t you?
Boss: I can’t say I’m surprised…or didn’t see this coming.
Me: fighting back a look of shock
Boss: I knew you were worth more than we could ever pay you when we hired you.
Me: Oh…. well…. thanks.
Boss: Your timing is bad though.
Me: Yes, I know. I’m very sorry.
Boss: It’s going to be great. Don’t you worry. I’m proud of you.
So, here I was expecting fireworks and a lot of screw you guys I’m going home….but it was gentle. Where has THIS boss been? Then this happened.
Remember Beast? If not, catch up here.
Beast: bear hugs me from behind, tears rolling down her face I just got used to you….
Beast: I am going to miss you SO much.
Beast: I’d rather lose anyone else here but you.
Me: Wow…. I didn’t know you felt that way.
Beast: Why? I’m always nicer to you.
Me: True (No. That’s a lie guys. She’s not nice to anyone, myself included, hence we call her Beast….but I so thrown off by her kind behavior that I couldn’t muster up any bitchy retort.)
My co-worker who is my friend here? My one piece of sanity? The one I bailed out of jail? Here was her response:
Me: I need to tell you something.
Coworker: I know what you are about to say don’t I?
Coworker: How could you DO THIS to me?
Me: Hon, it’s not about you. I’m actually doing something for myself.
Coworker: Whatever. This is really unprofessional timing. I’m shocked and disappointed at you. Of all people, I thought YOU would have more class. You know what…. it IS like you. You are so selfish.
The coworker gives me the death stare and has refrained from speaking to me since. I feel like this is an episode of the freaking Twilight Zone!!! The bad is good. The good is bad. Maybe I’m drunk and this was just a really odd dream. If so, can I please have any guy from Magic Mike, Ryan Gosling and/or Adam Levine make an appearance? Thankyouverymuch.